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Forum Home > Healing After Leaving AA > AA wants to erase your inner child

rainbow
Member
Posts: 222

For awhile now, I've been able to really work on some issues. (I hate that 'issues' word)    It's been very helpful. AA didn't want me to work on the real issues of why I chose to escape the world and misuse substances for many years. I'm able to heal through the one-on-one therapy. 


In 1989, I began my quest for yoga and meditation classes. One day the teacher guided us through some inner child work.  I discovered a little 5 year old hiding in a dark cave at the ocean, scared and huddled up against the wall. So the way the meditation went, I was to go inside the cave, coax the little child out, holding her hand, letting her know it was safe to come out and play. As guided, I picked up the little 'me', and we walked on the beach together. I let her know that she was/is loved, and I would take care of her from then on. Then I picked her up into my palms and placed her inside my heart. I was able to move forward some.  I became lighter, and I'd let myself come out to play finally.   Have I weirded y'all out yet?  I'm not a schizophrenic, I swear.  :)


And then AA came along. No one in AA wants to hear about anybody's childhood stuff. "Get over it! We've ALL had a bad childhood!"    Years later I made the mistake of going to Path of Hope rehab in NC. It was no path of hope.  At a softball game with us patients, I was cheering for my team. GO TEAM!! WOO HOO!!  Kind of like a cheerleader. That's just me. I was having fun!  At my next session with my counselor, she asked me why I was acting like such a child at the game. I told her about my inner kid guided meditation from years ago. She told me to draw a picture of her. So I did. Little freckles and everything, smiling and holding flowers. I thought it was great.


The very next day my counselor brought  me a set of dolls that she got at a dollar store, I guess. A boy and a girl doll. What happened next blew my mind. She took them out of the box and said, "Tell the girl (inner child) doll that " she's got a new friend now."  Then I was to take them out back in the woods and leave them there. I thought HUH? She explained that I acted too young for my age, and I should grow up and quit acting like a kid. I thought this was the stupidest (and kinda cruel) thing for a counselor to tell a person.  I put the dolls in my suitcase, and took them home when I left. I didn't want them to grow up feeling abandoned!  (just kiddin ya)  I dunno. I just remembered this the other day. It just kinda made me think WTF was that all about anyway?  Weird memory, I know. But it says something to me.  Freaks.   I have to laugh about it today, though, and just shake my head...


The doll thing just weirded me out. Thanks for listening, and letting me get this off my chest. :D





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my new avatar brings a whole new meaning to the skittles commercial  :D

February 7, 2013 at 6:47 PM Flag Quote & Reply

SallyJ
Member
Posts: 435

re:  "Have I weirded y'all out yet? I'm not a schizophrenic, I swear."

I thought it was beautiful myself.  So if you're insane, I'm right there with you. :P

 

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Pro Empowerment!

February 7, 2013 at 6:56 PM Flag Quote & Reply

SallyJ
Member
Posts: 435

"One day the teacher guided us through some inner child work. I discovered a little 5 year old hiding in a dark cave at the ocean, scared and huddled up against the wall. So the way the meditation went, I was to go inside the cave, coax the little child out, holding her hand, letting her know it was safe to come out and play. As guided, I picked up the little 'me', and we walked on the beach together. I let her know that she was/is loved, and I would take care of her from then on. Then I picked her up into my palms and placed her inside my heart. I was able to move forward some. I became lighter, and I'd let myself come out to play finally."

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Pro Empowerment!

February 7, 2013 at 7:03 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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