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Forum Home > Healing After Leaving AA > Being restored to sanity

tumbleweed
Member
Posts: 52

I remember back when I was a miserable spiritual seeker ( thanks for the advice XA, appreciate it ), I listened to an englishman speaking about spiritual liberation. He told an anectode about a friend of his. His friend had become involved in some spiritual teaching of "the providing universe" or something like that. His friend had reached the conclusion that if he only put enough faith in the universe, the universe would answer him in a favourable manner. As time went by this landed him broke, out of a job and living on the streets. When the friend was asked about what had happened he explained that he was following the will of the universe and just waited for it to answer. It turned out he had come to the conclusion that it was more in line with the universe to quit his job and wait for another joboppurtunity to show itself, he had to move to a cheaper apartment at first because of the reduced influx of money, and then, when another jobinterview didnt show itself he had to leave that place too. Now he was out on the streets. Still waiting for the right answers, pretending the best he could that he was satisfied and happy with his situation, not willing to lose his stern faith in the doctrine of "the providing universe".


When I heard this story I realised how f-ed up certain forms of so called  "spirituality" can make people. I didnt first see that I myself through my involvement in XA had engaged myself in a similar mindset as the guy in this story, and that this mindset had landed me similar circumstances. Now I do. Before I joined XA I was addicted and depressed, which heavily influenced my ability to lead a sane and reasonably happy life, but I had a functioning view on how things worked, and I was confident in my own ability to make things happen. What I needed was new ways of how to conduct myself and I ofcourse needed to stop using, Instead I got an idea that by enough faith or the right relationship with a "higher power", this would suffice in getting the kind of life I wanted or give me things that I need. 

I dont even think most religious people think of life in that way. They know they have to take action if they want things, praying and churchgoing might give them some strength or whatnot, but in the end its up to them to use their will.

To sit idle by just wishing for things or waiting for information on the correct action to manifest in ones mind in every detail of youre life is not going to work. That conclusion is all Ive got out from years of trying. You will just end up hating yourself even more as you become more and more weakwilled and incapable of taking care of things. Trying to rid oneself of ones "ego" or "self"  is one of the most absurd activities a person can engage in. More absurd than drinking alcohol in a lot of ways. Just because you once had a "self" that thought it was a good idea to drink alcohol when it in the end clearly wasnt, doesnt mean you should try to "rid" yourself from it altogether. And try to in its place put a mystical force or power to do the jobs previously taken care of quite well by the self doesnt make any sense. Unless youve come to belive that you will die or go insane if you dont.

Fear can make people do the most crazy stuff. In XA youre not honoring a "higher power", your worshipping fear. And youve come to fear one of your own strongest desires, the desire to be free, living youre life the way you want to live it.

March 25, 2013 at 1:45 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Live_free_or_die
Administrator
Posts: 851

http://allrulesapply.com/aa/daily.htm

 

To do the following it does not matter who or what your God is. It does not even matter if you have a God of your understanding. You do these things and refer to God. It is just a label until you have a God of your understanding to go with it. No matter what YOUR understanding of God these things MUST be done. They are essential no matter what your understanding of God is. Everyone must do these things.

Morning Stuff You MUST DO EVERY DAY! In this order.

Asking for Guidance

Pray for the ability to understand and follow Gods will for you through out your day.

Read the 11th step prayer on page 99 of the 12 and 12

You can use the Daily Reflections or the 24 hours black book but you must read the daily reading from the one of your choice each day and reflect on it for a period of time.

At Night Stuff You MUST DO EVERY DAY!

Reviewing Your Day

and Thanking God

At night you are to pray (talk with God) about your day. Review everything you did and every interaction you had with anybody to see how it could have been better.

I will make no exceptions if I ask you if you have done these things the answer must be an honest yes.

It does not matter if you think they are working or not. Just go through the routine and they will begin to work. You will at some point just start noticing that it feels more comfortable.

You will also notice that they all of sudden seem to be working.

It does not matter how long it takes. You MUST do these things. It will make a difference eventually. For some it happens faster and slower for others.

I was very careful to pick each word I have written here. You need to review the text on the web page and meditate on it as well. There is nothing between the lines. Just the mechanical instructions necessary for this to work in your life. It requires no belief to start.

***************************************************************************************

 

Please note that this is stuff you MUST do, everyday, in the order laid out above, or...........

YOU....

WILL.....

DIE.......!!!!!!!!

 

--

Pro Empowerment - Engage & Enable


March 26, 2013 at 7:21 AM Flag Quote & Reply

tumbleweed
Member
Posts: 52

I long for the day I can read things like these with a nostalgic smile and shaking my head. Im not fully there yet though. That article you posted reveils such a nazi mindset, its like forcing yourself to live like a nun, without really wanting to or having the deep calling to do so.No wonder these oldtimer sponsors become so much like the charicature of a strict, boring and punitive "mother superior" whos only joy in life is to tell others exactly how they MUST live.



March 26, 2013 at 9:36 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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